Undeniably Fate
by JnnLuvsU
Summary: Fate brought John Sheppard and Rodney McKay together. Follow their romance as they try and battle USAF rules, their friends, and their enemies. Chapter 5: DADT is repealed. What will John and Rodney do? McShep.
1. Love Confessions and Noble Intentions

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Summary: Fate brought John Sheppard and Rodney McKay together. Follow their romance as they try to battle USAF rules, their friends, and their enemies.

Pairings: John/Rodney, Jack/Daniel (later)

Author's Note: John and Rodney belong together. This is my take on how it would happen. This story has been my baby since 2007. It's not finished, but like my other recent stories, each chapter can theoretically stand alone. Total AU. No spoilers.

Undeniably Fate  
by: JnnLuvsU

Chapter 1: Noble Intentions of Love  
Chapter Summary: When John confesses his love, Rodney decides to be noble.

* * *

Rodney supported John down the hallway, taking most of the other man's weight. John was dead on his feet. He had his arm wrapped firmly around his friend's waist, John's arm draped around his shoulder. He doubted the other man had slept in four days.

He was almost to John's quarters when the other man suddenly stopped. Confused he turned to find that the other man was staring at him, smiling sleepily. He sighed, "Come on, Colonel. Just a little farther. We're almost to your room."

John apparently had no intention of moving any time soon. He just kept staring at Rodney, smiling his infuriating grin. Rodney sucked in a deep breath as John cupped his cheek. "Colonel?" he whispered, confused and not sure what to make of his reaction to the touch. He leaned into it slightly and supposed it was merely because it had been far too long since he'd been touched this way.

"Beautiful," John whispered, stroking Rodney's cheek softly with his thumb.

John's whispered declaration went straight to Rodney's heart, but he knew that John wasn't thinking clearly. He snorted, pulling away from the touch. "Sure, right." Pulling slightly, he attempted to lead John down further down the hallway.

John refused to move and frowned at the sarcasm he heard in Rodney's voice. Reaching out, he gripped the other man's chin. "You are," he said firmly or as firmly as he could being sleep deprived.

Rodney sighed, "Okay, I'm beautiful. I get it." He put his arm back around John's waist and led him down the hallway, "Come on, Colonel. Let's go. Almost there."

John pouted, but meekly let Rodney lead him to his quarters, "You don't believe me," he whispered once they were in his room, hurt in his voice.

Rodney pushed John onto his bed, reaching down to take off the other man's shoes. "No, I don't. You're tired and stressed. You don't know what you're saying. Go to sleep."

John laughed, "Come on Rodney, we both know I'm not that out of it." He sat up, reaching out to still Rodney's hands, still on his left boot.

Rodney looked into his eyes, surprised at the amount of anger in his friend's voice. He raised his eyebrows in confusion, "You're _angry_?"

John ran his hand through his hair, only messing it up more than usual, "Well, yeah," he stated the obvious. He couldn't believe he'd finally put everything on the line and Rodney didn't _believe_ him. Bullshit! "Do you realize how long I've wanted to tell you that? I finally take that chance, _finally_ decide to," John fumbled for words, not knowing exactly what he wanted to say, "beg...start t..t..to tell how much I lo...," he backtracked, "th..that I have _feelings_ for you, and you don't _believe _me? How would you react?"

Rodney stared at John in shock. For the first time in his life, that he could remember, he was struck speechless. His hands were still trapped under John's, still in the process of taking off John's boots. His thoughts wouldn't settle. He wanted to believe John, so much, but knew the other man would probably think differently in the morning. He stood up, "You...um, you need sleep. So, um, I'm, uh...going to go." He backed towards the door as he talked, knowing giving in would _not_ be a good thing.

John put his head in his hands, cursing himself. Now he'd scared Rodney off. How could he have been so stupid? "Stupid. Stupid," he muttered to himself, banging his head into his hands.

Rodney sighed, "You're not stupid," he whispered, "I...I just need to think, okay? You don't just drop a bomb like that and expect me to just...I just need to think." He turned towards the door.

John sighed, standing. There was no way he was letting Rodney walk out, not if he could help it. "I've seen the way you look at me," he stated. And it was true, John had seen Rodney look at him, eyes full of affection. He'd even dreamed he'd seen desire in them a few times. Rodney's blue eyes haunted his dreams.

Rodney froze three steps from the door. He didn't think he'd even been that obvious. "Excuse me?" he asked, indignant. Keeping on the defensive was the only way he would be able to survive this conversation.

John invaded Rodney's personal space, but not touching the other man. He smiled, "I said I've seen the way you look at me." He tentatively put a hand on Rodney's shoulder. "And I know you've seen the way I look at you."

Rodney closed his eyes. He had noticed a peculiar look in John's eyes from time to time, but always dismissed it. Fact was he'd never believed that someone like John would ever want him, "Colonel," he began, "you don't... you're tired.." He sighed, "you can't mean..." He fumbled for words, "You...Me?" He looked John in the eye, "Just, _please_, go to sleep. You'll forget all about this and I can go back to pretending this never happened." His voice was breaking and panic tinged.

John blinked at the amount of hurt on Rodney's face. He was also surprised at how much Rodney's statement _hurt him_. He hadn't expected that. "Rodney?" he whispered softly, "You're right. I'm tired. And I probably shouldn't have brought this up _tonight_. I know you're stressed. We all are. And I'm sorry. But I'm not taking it back now. But you know what else I'm tired of, Rodney?" He lifted Rodney's chin with his finger, "I'm _tired_ of watching you get hurt, knowing that I can't be the one to hold you. I'm _tired_ of hiding this. Especially from you."

Rodney stood still, shock evident on his features, "But..." he stuttered, then paused. Eventually, he sighed, hanging his head, "I know," he whispered, giving in. "I hate seeing you in the infirmary, knowing the only role I can play is the snarky friend and co-worker."

John smiled. He'd known Rodney felt the same way. He moved closer to Rodney, frowning when Rodney backed away, regret in his eyes. John recalled what Rodney had said earlier. He cupped Rodney's cheek, "Rodney, why are you fighting this?" he asked, "Why do you want to _forget_ this?"

Rodney tore his gaze from John's, moving away from him to collapse on the edge of the bed. He put his head in his hands, "I've worked for the US military for a _long_ time, _Colonel_. I know the rules."

John didn't miss the emphasis Rodney put on his rank or the other man's meaning with that emphasis. He knelt in front of his friend, lightly resting his hands on Rodney's thighs. He spoke slowly and deliberately wanting Rodney to know how serious he was, "We save this planet every day. Earth is a billion miles away. On the other side of the galaxy! We risk our lives all the damn time, Rodney. I think we're entitled to some happiness."

Rodney covered John's hands with his, "Be that as it may, Colonel," he stated, "I'd rather be just your friend if it keeps you on Atlantis. They could reassign you, discharge you. Hell, even court martial you." He gripped John's hands tightly, "I will _not_ be responsible for that."

John sighed in frustration. He'd never imagined that Rodney would try to be noble about this. When Rodney started to pull his hands from John's, John quickly flipped his over to grip Rodney's wrists. Rodney struggled briefly, but froze when he realized John's face was inches from his own. John smiled at the look of longing on Rodney's face. He let go of one of Rodney's hands, keeping firm hold on the other, and cupped his friend's cheek. He leaned his forehead against Rodney's in the customary Athosian gesture of affection. "Tell me you don't want this," he whispered, his voice breaking, "tell me you don't dream about touching me." His hand moved to the back of Rodney's neck and he looked into Rodney's eyes, "Because I do. About you."

Rodney licked his lips, "It's not that simple, Colonel, and you know it." He pushed John away, "What do you want me to say?" The agitated tone was back, and he began to pace. "That I dream about you?" He was agitated, his hands going wild. "That I want you in my bed every night?" He collapsed against the wall, hugging his knees to his chest. "I can't," he exasperated, "I _can't_ be responsible for you getting in trouble." He shook his head, standing, "It doesn't _matter_ what I want." He looked at John, "Don't you understand?" He whispered, "I _can't_." He headed for the door.

John mentally locked the door, "Please, Rodney," he whispered, the fatigue apparent in he voice, "please, don't walk away from me." He was practically begging.

Rodney hung his head, "please don't make this any harder than it already is." His voice was pleading.

John placed a hand on Rodney's shoulder, gripping tightly, "I don't want to make this hard," he whispered, desperately needing Rodney to understand him. He sighed, dropping his hand, "I...um, understand...that Atlantis needs to come first." He shuffled backwards, "I'm sorry."

Rodney turned to face him, "Don't you see?" he whispered, "Atlantis needs you. Do you have any idea what would happen to us if you were sent back to Earth? What would happen to me? And we could be as careful as we wanted. Eventually, we would get caught. And you will get in trouble. I'm responsible for enough mistakes already, I will _not_ be responsible for Atlantis losing you, too. _Please_ understand."

"I do understand," John returned, "I really do." He took a step toward Rodney, "Do you really think I would risk everything if I didn't think it was worth it? Do you really think I'd throw this all away for something that wasn't _everything_?"

Rodney flushed, opening his mouth to speak.

John cut him off with a finger to his lips, "I'm talking now," he whispered, fingertips gently tracing the outline of Rodney's lips. John licked his lips, forcing himself to pull his hand away. "I will accept this. Because _you_ want me to. However, this was never just about sex, so I hope you realize that these feelings I have for you aren't just going to go away. I _will_ wait."

"Wait?" Rodney sputtered. He was sure his rejection of John would merely mean the other man would find someone else. Someone who _was_ willing to bend the rules. And for the life of him, he couldn't understand _why_ John would want to wait. There was no doubt in Rodney's mind that there were handfuls of people on the base that would be all too willing to jump into bed with the other man. "But why? You could do so much..."

John cut him off again, "Don't finish that sentence," he growled. "Don't even think it. Don't you understand what I've been trying to _tell_ you? You aren't _listening_." John was exasperated.

Rodney was slightly offended, "I've heard every word you've said."

John cupped Rodney's face in his hands. "But you haven't been _listening_. I don't pretend to know what goes on in that head of yours, especially right now, but you seem to think that I just woke up this morning and decided to come on to you."

Rodney looked at John, hope in his eyes, "It's not?" he whispered, his disbelief apparent in his voice.

John shook his head in disbelief. For someone who was so sure of himself in every other area, Rodney sure was insecure about this. "Rodney," his voice was tender, full of affection, "apparently you're not getting this, so I'm going to spell it out for you." He placed his hand on the back of Rodney's neck, the other still cupping his best friend's cheek. He looked into Rodney's eyes, "I love you," he stated firmly. Rodney reacted and jerked away, but John held fast. "No," he murmured, thumb lightly caressing Rodney's cheek, "you're not running from this. I love you. And I will wait until you are ready."

Rodney's eyes darted around, looking for escape, before looking into John's eyes. He could see the affection and desire in the other man's eyes and was blown away. He wanted to give in; he _really_ wanted to give in. "I can't," he choked, jerking away from John. "I'm sorry, so sorry, but I can't." There were tears in his voice.

John was confused, "Can't what? Can't love me?" He asked, his voice full of hurt.

Rodney shook his head, frantically, as if he could make John understand by sheer willpower, "_No!_" he whispered urgently, "God, no, that part is easy." He began to pace, "I _can't_ give into it. As much as I want to. And I do want to. So much. But I can't."

John sighed, "What about later? If the rules change? If we are forced to go back to Earth? I leave the military?"

Rodney stopped and stared at him. It hit him like a ton of bricks. John was willing to wait. For him. Rodney was blown away, that didn't make any sense, "But..." he trailed off, not knowing what to say.

John took a step back, "Um, unless you don't want to, of course. I, um, shouldn't have just assume..."

It was Rodney's turn to cut John off with a finger to his lips. "That's not it. I'm just surprised. You could have anyone you wanted; someone who isn't afraid to break the rules. Why wait for me?"

John could tell Rodney was honestly confused. He leaned into the other man, smiling softly, "Because I love you," he whispered, simply. "You're worth waiting for." He looked down, insecurities burrowing in his mind, "Am I?" he asked in a small voice.

Rodney jerked his eyes back to John, gripping the other man's shoulder tightly. "Look at me," he whispered. John reluctantly brought his eyes to Rodney's, doubt evident in them. Rodney smiled, moving one of his hands to the back of John's neck, playing with the hair there. "Yes, John," he whispered, "You are worth it." He leered at John, "In fact, if it weren't against both my rules and the Air Force's rules, I'd show you just how much you are worth it."

John grinned, "You called me John. I like that." He took a deep breath. "One day, Rodney," he promised, "we will get our chance.." He raised a shaky hand to cup Rodney's cheek, "However, if you don't leave soon, I'm going to break all those rules that I told you I wouldn't."

Rodney smiled, nervously, "You're going to remember this in the morning, aren't you?" he asked, fear in his voice.

John grinned, "Yes. This isn't something I'd forget."

Rodney sighed in relief, "Good." He took John's arm, "Come on, Colonel. Time for you to get to sleep."

John nodded, yawning, "I liked John," he said, as he allowed Rodney to lead him to his bed. He couldn't help but wish that Rodney was leading him to bed for a different reason, and forced those thoughts out of his mind.

Rodney smiled, "John." He pulled the cover up to the other man's chest and mentally dimmed the lights, "Sleep now."

John was already half asleep. He reached out for Rodney's hand, "You, too. Sleep. Promise me."

Rodney nodded, "I am. Right now. Promise." He stood up, "I love you, John," he whispered as he left the room.

"I love you, too," John echoed before sleep claimed him.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\  
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	2. Stupid Regulations

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Summary: Fate brought John Sheppard and Rodney McKay together. Follow their romance as they try to battle USAF rules, their friends, and their enemies.

Pairings: John/Rodney, Jack/Daniel (later)

Author's Note: John and Rodney belong together. This is my take on how it would happen. This story has been my baby since 2007. It's not finished, but like my other recent stories, each chapter can theoretically stand alone. Total AU. No spoilers. This one is more the start of the story, and takes place two years after chapter one. That much time will not be skipped again.

Undeniably Fate  
by: JnnLuvsU

Chapter 2: Stupid Regulations  
Chapter Summary: Though John and Rodney waited, others don't believe them.

* * *

John sat still as a statue in Elizabeth's office, wondering what this meeting was about. Elizabeth sat across from him, at her desk. She did not look happy.

Elizabeth crossed her arms over her chest, frowning as Colonel Caldwell walked into the room. Caldwell took up stance beside Elizabeth.

John looked from one to the other, dreading more and more this meeting. "Good Afternoon, Colonel," he greeted, trying to keep his voice light.

Caldwell avoided looking at him, "Lt. Colonel John Sheppard," Caldwell began and John stiffened. That title, that tone. This couldn't be good. Caldwell continued, either not noticing or not acknowledging John's change in demeanor, "You are hereby charged with conduct unbecoming an officer in the United States Air Force. You will be remanded to Earth, where an Article 32 hearing will be convened. You are henceforth relieved of your duty until such a time as it is determined whether or not a court-martial will take place." He read from the paper in his hand and sighed, handing it to John, "I'm sorry, Colonel."

John was confused, but knew it wasn't Caldwell's fault. The other man looked genuinely sorry. "Sir?" he asked, looking at the paper, "Conduct Unbecoming? I know I'm a little rash sometimes, but conduct unbecoming?"

Elizabeth nodded, "You are being charged for your...relationship. With Dr. McKay." Her tone was stiff and disappointed.

John turned to her, "But Rodney and I haven't done _anything_ that could even remotely be considered conduct unbecoming." He could see in her eyes that she didn't believe him. He stood and saluted Caldwell, "When do we leave, Sir?"

Caldwell sighed, "You have three hours, Colonel. I'm trusting your honor that you will not go AWOL. Do I need to have a Captain follow you around?"

John shook his head, "No, Sir. I'll be ready." He looked at Elizabeth, "I swear to you, Elizabeth, we have done _nothing_."

Elizabeth sighed, "John," she began, "You know as well as I do that charges such as these don't reach this level if there isn't some grain of truth in them." She fixed him with a glare, "You are not to discuss this with him, either, Colonel. Do I make myself clear?" The last thing she needed was a belligerent, angry Rodney right now.

John stood straighter and gave Elizabeth a cold glare. He opened his mouth to yell, but stopped himself in time. "I am no longer under your command, Dr. Weir," he said instead and left the room.

* * *

John went immediately to the labs, intending to get to Rodney before Elizabeth could find a reason to keep the other man from him. He was relieved to see Rodney in his usual place, staring at a laptop. Walking to the other man, John couldn't keep the small smile off his face. He placed the letter on top of Rodney's hands and the smile dropped off his face.

Rodney nearly jumped out of his skin when the piece of paper landed on his hands, "Jesus!" he exclaimed, reading the letter, "don't do..." he trailed off and his face paled, "What the _hell_ is this?!" He stood, facing John, "Is this your idea of some sick joke, Colonel, because..." he was agitated, waving the letter around.

John was aware that they'd acquired an audience and shook his head, "No, Rodney, it's not a joke." He lowered his voice, "I only have three hours." He looked into Rodney's eyes, seeing the moment that sank in.

Rodney closed his eyes, trying to gather his thoughts, "But we..." He swore under his breath as he heard Elizabeth's voice in his ear, telling him she needed him in the puddle jumper bay. His eyes flew around the room, "Kavanaugh, Elizabeth needs someone in the puddle jumper bay. Go." Then he wrenched the ear piece from his ear and flung it across the room. "Everyone out!" His tone left no room for arguing and the room quickly vacated, Radek mumbling under his breath something about finally going over the edge and getting Carson.

Rodney thought the door locked and began to pace, his agitation showing.

John sighed, "Rodney, look..."

Rodney cut him off, "No! Don't tell me to calm down. Not now. I think I have every right to be angry. Two years! Two fucking years we didn't give in. Because of the fucking Air Force's rules. Two fucking years, John, that we kept our distance, and this is the thanks we get. They court-martial you for it anyway. What kind of shit is that?" There were tears in Rodney's eyes now, and he began to hyperventilate.

John grasped Rodney by the shoulders, "Rodney, breathe." He pushed his hysterical friend into a chair, pushing Rodney's head between his knees. John knelt in front of Rodney, fingers caressing the back of the other man's neck. He fought his own tears, "I know, Rodney," he whispered, "Dammit, I know. But there's nothing I can do about this. It's just a hearing. If they can't get enough evidence, there won't even be a court martial."

Rodney got his breathing under control and lifted his head, resting his chin in his hands and looking into his best friends' eyes, "We haven't done anything," he whispered, anguished. "I haven't even gotten to kiss you."

John nodded, "I know. I know." He smiled softly. "I'm sorry, Rodney," he whispered, "I really am."

Rodney nodded, "Three hours, right?"

John frowned, "Yeah." He stood, "I think Caldwell believed me."

Rodney nodded, "And Elizabeth?"

John shook his head, "She, um, didn't. And she told me not to talk to you about it."

Rodney narrowed his eyes, "Apparently you didn't listen, thank God. And that does make the next decision much easier."

John was confused, "Next decision?" he asked.

Rodney stared at him in disbelief, "You really didn't think I wasn't going to come, did you?"

"Rodney..." John started when the banging started on the other side of the door.

Rodney turned to the door, "GO AWAY!" he yelled, not bothering to even ask who it was.

"Rodney, open the door," came Elizabeth's firm voice.

Rodney hung his head, looking at John, "Let me go with you," he pleaded, "I can testify, whatever."

"Rodney, we both know you're needed here," was John's only reply as the banging on the door got louder.

"I don't care." He sank into a chair, "I'm not taking the risk that you are going to Earth and not coming back. Don't fight me on this, please."

John sighed, nodding, "I want you to come, Rodney, but I'm afraid that if I have to let..." he cut himself off as the door opened.

Radek stood next to Elizabeth with an apologetic look on his face. Elizabeth, on the other hand, looked furious. She looked between them before turning her attention to Rodney, "Rodney, I've been trying to raise you on the radio," she said in an icy tone that clearly demanded an explanation was needed.

Rodney waved his hand dismissively, "It's over there somewhere." He didn't look at her. He wanted to yell at her, but knew that would accomplish next to nothing. Instead, he turned his attention to Radek, "Are the wraith attacking?" he asked, completely ignoring Elizabeth.

Radek looked anxious, his gaze going between Rodney and Elizabeth. He shook his head, pushing his glasses up his nose, "No, they aren't."

Rodney nodded, "Anyone dead? Hurt?" He asked, noticing that Carson, Lorne, and Caldwell stood in the hallway also.

Radek shook his head, clearly uncomfortable with whatever was going on here.

Rodney nodded, "Then we're good here." He stood up, and, with a last look at John left the room. He paused in front of Radek, "You're in charge." Then turned to Caldwell, "I will be returning with you. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to pack."

Caldwell nodded as the crowd began to disperse, Radek and Elizabeth following, Elizabeth calling for Rodney. Caldwell turned his attention to Carson, "Dr. Beckett, your presence has been required as well."

"Presence for what?" Carson asked, in confusion.

"My Article 32 hearing," John replied, standing and walking towards them. "Major Lorne, you will be taking over my duties while I am gone."

Lorne nodded, "Article 32 hearing, Sir? What for?"

"Conduct Unbecoming," John answered, noticing Lorne nod in understanding and Carson look even more confused.

John looked at him, "They think I'm having sex with McKay," he clarified.

Carson frowned, "But, why would they think that? I'm very afraid I'd know about that."

"Which is why your presence is required, Doctor," Caldwell said. He turned to John, "Are you sure it's _wise_ to bring Dr. McKay if you are proclaiming your innocence?"

John looked at him, "I said we hadn't done anything, Colonel. I never said I didn't love him. But, last I checked, feelings couldn't be tried. He wants to go. I'm certainly not going to tell him no."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\  
Back on Earth...


	3. General Intervention

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Summary: Fate brought John Sheppard and Rodney McKay together. Follow their romance as they try to battle USAF rules, their friends, and their enemies.

Pairings: John/Rodney, Jack/Daniel

Author's Note: Total AU. No spoilers. They're back on Earth. Jack and Daniel make their appearance in this one.

Undeniably Fate  
by: JnnLuvsU

Chapter 3: General Intervention  
Chapter Summary: John's article 32 hearing is approaching. Rodney makes plans.

* * *

John looked up as the door to his 'quarters' opened. General Jack O'Neill stood there, a grim expression on his face, "This should never have gone this far," he remarked idly, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

John looked at him in confusion, coming to attention, "General O'Neill, sir. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Oh, stop that," Jack sighed, "Sit down."

John complied, sitting on the edge of his bed. "How are you, Sir?"

"I think it's more important that I find out how you are," Jack said slowly, walking around the room, "I was kept in one of these a few times. Alien influence and all that. Wasn't much fun for me." He looked at John, "Can't imagine it's much fun for you."

John nodded, "Are they leaving Rodney alone?" He hadn't been allowed to see Rodney since he'd gotten here, and was afraid the Air Force would try and make Rodney pay for this somehow.

Jack sighed, pulling the desk chair over to sit across from John, "I want you to tell me the truth, Colonel. Are you guilty?"

John put his head in his hands, "Depends, Sir. Guilty of the charges? That one's simple. No." He ran in hands through his hair, sighing, "But I might as well be."

Jack hung his head, "I was afraid of this. You love him."

"But we never did anything about it, I swear," John said, firmly. "We obeyed the Air Force Rules to the letter. We knew that Atlantis was much more important than us." He looked at Jack, "And, believe me, if I'd have known I was going to be court-martialed for it anyway, I damn sure would have done something about it."

"Word to the wise, Colonel," Jack stated, "Don't tell them that."

John glared at him, "I'm not stupid." There was silence for a few minutes, "Sir, can I ask you a question? And a favor?"

Jack smiled, "Yeah, might not be able to answer or comply, but sure, you can ask."

"If the Article 32 does go to court-martial, and I am dishonorably discharged from the Air Force, I request permission to retire off-world. Would that be possible?"

Jack rolled his eyes, "They aren't going to let you return to Atlantis," he replied.

"I don't want to. I wish to return to Athosia. Live with the Athosians. I've more friends there than anywhere else. Including Earth."

"But not Atlantis," Jack supplied, standing. "Honestly, I don't know. I'll have to see. They like me, but I don't know if they like me that much." He turned to leave.

"General," John said, "about the favor."

"I thought that was your favor," Jack replied, exasperated.

"Actually, that was the question," John returned. He took a deep breath, "If I am not allowed to retire off-world, I would like you to make sure that Rodney is returned to Atlantis."

Jack froze at the door, "Wouldn't that be a decision better left to McKay?"

John shook his head, "He would die here. Granted, staying in Atlantis is probably the choice he would make, but I'm not willing to take that risk."

Jack spoke softly, "You know I can't order him to stay. He is a civilian. I can't make him stay in the program."

John nodded, "I know, but I also know that you have ways of making people stay."

Jack frowned, "I'll think about it. And, if the time comes where that happens, which I doubt, we'll see, okay. McKay doesn't strike me as the type to respond to threats well, so whatever I say might not work anyway."

John nodded, "So, are they leaving Rodney alone?"

Jack nodded, "Yes. As far as I know. He's somewhere with Carter."

John smiled, "And Dr. Beckett? How is he?"

Jack grinned, "You're very lucky that Dr. Beckett decided to come. His testimony will be crucial."

"Colonel Caldwell said that Dr. Beckett's presence was required," John responded in confusion.

Jack frowned, and shook his head, "No, not really. But he will help your case. I'll check on you later."

John nodded, vowing to thank Caldwell the next time he saw the man. "General, what do you think my chances are?"

Jack sighed, "I believe that you are telling the truth. If McKay doesn't lose his temper and say something he shouldn't, his testimony should help. Dr. Beckett's will definitely help. Honestly, I seriously doubt they will be able to gather enough evidence to take this to court-martial."

John nodded, "I hope so. So, what would happen then? Would they let me go back to Atlantis? Because even I know two disciplinary hearings are not good for my career. Are they going to let me resume my position?"

Jack sighed, "Come on. I'm taking you somewhere. Off the base. We need to have a talk."

John was confused, but stood. "Sir?"

Jack opened the door, spoke to the sergeants outside the door quietly, and motioned for John to follow him. He led John down the hallway to the control room. "Wait here. I need to tell Landry. As much as they like me, taking you without at least telling them would not be a good thing." He disappeared into the room.

John waited patiently for Jack to return from the room and didn't have to wait long. Jack was back moments later, motioning John to follow him. "Come on, I cook a mean steak."

John followed Jack off the base.

* * *

"So, sir," John began, sitting on Jack's back porch, "what did you want to talk to me about?"

Jack sighed, "I'm going to tell you something that you must never reveal you know."

John was intrigued, "Okay," he said, slowly, wondering where the General was going with this.

Jack grinned at him, "This will not go to court-martial, Colonel. Of that I can assure you." He leaned forward in his chair. "This is what will happen. Over the next few days, testimonies will be received by the court from various people on Atlantis. You will not be removed from your position. You will return there within the next month. There will be no mark on your record. There will be nothing to say that you have done anything wrong."

John sighed, that was much too good to be true. More than he'd ever hoped for. "What's the catch, Sir?" he asked.

Jack frowned, "You will be watched very closely. You will have to wait." He stared at John until he was sure the other man got that message.

John nodded, leaning forward, putting his head in his hands, "Yes, Sir, I know." He looked up as Jack's words sank in, "Wait, Sir? I expected you to tell me that I would have to get over it."

Jack smiled, "There are those of us who are trying to ... change things. There may come a time when you will indeed have to 'get over it,' as you so eloquently put it, but I hope that instead you will have a chance to find some happiness." He squeezed John's shoulder as he stood and walked past him into the house. "I hope we all can find some happiness," he muttered as the phone started ringing.

John pondered Jack's last statement as the other man picked up the phone. He could hear a muted conversation, but knew not to eavesdrop, not that he could hear anything, anyway.

Jack returned a few minutes later, grinning, "I hope you don't mind. We've got company coming."

John shook his head, "Fine with me," he replied. "When do I have to return to the base?"

Jack thought about it for a while, "Probably sometime tomorrow. The hearing is to be in a few days." He sighed, "They probably won't let me take you off base again, so I suggest you enjoy it. You'll be in that room for at least a week while this works itself out. It will work itself out, Colonel."

John nodded, "In that case, I think I need another beer." He stood up, walking into the house.

Jack grinned, "Bring me one, too."

John complied and soon returned with two beers. "So, Sir, who all's coming over?" he asked, handing Jack one of the beers.

Jack accepted the beer, "Just Daniel. Oh, and he mentioned that he was going to bring McKay. Something about how he was demanding to see you."

John smiled unconsciously, but felt panic well up, "Is that wise?"

"It will be fine," Jack reassured, "You want to see him. He wants to see you. And my name is still good for something around here. They'd never imagine that I would allow anything such as that under my roof. This is actually probably the safest way for you to see each other. I warn you that while I am a rather forward thinker, don't do anything rash that you will have to lie about later."

John blushed and nodded, "I'm sure I can keep my distance. Been doing it for two damn years."

Jack sighed as he heard the front door open. He leaned down to John's ear, "Try four," he whispered before heading into the house.

* * *

Jack met Daniel and Rodney in the hallway. "Hey, Danny, Dr. McKay," he greeted, smiling affectionately at Daniel and shaking Rodney's hand.

"Nice to see you again, General," Rodney greeted, giving him a small smile. He knew Daniel was trying to cheer him up by taking him out, but he really only wanted to see John. He knew that Daniel was going tell the General about his proposal, and Rodney really wanted Jack to go for it.

Daniel turned to Rodney, "Go and make yourself at home. I need to talk to Jack for a few minutes." He smiled at Rodney and led Jack into the kitchen before Jack could get a word in.

Jack met Daniel's gaze once they were in the kitchen, "What's up, Danny?" he asked, leaning against the counter.

Daniel glanced around, "Where's Col. Sheppard?"

Jack gestured, "On the back porch. I'm sure he'll find McKay in a minute. Why? What's up?"

"Rodney asked me some questions today. He wants to get a job here if Sheppard is not allowed to return to Atlantis." He could see the knowing look on Jack's face. "You knew?"

Jack nodded, "Sheppard mentioned it, but he was adamant that they had never acted on it." He sighed, "The thing is, Sheppard demanded that McKay be returned to Atlantis if he was forced to stay." He looked at Daniel, "Says he would die here."

Daniel grimaced, "You think he's serious?"

Jack nodded, "Sheppard's not like me, Danny. Unless McKay can talk him out of it, he'll find a way to force McKay back to Atlantis. He's not selfish like I am."

Daniel sighed, frowning, "You're not selfish, Jack," he whispered.

Jack's eyes shot to Daniel, "Aren't I?" he returned, "Keeping you from going even though there's nothing substantial I can offer you by staying?"

Daniel walked to Jack, "Hey, I'm over it. I like Cam, he's a good leader. Not you, of course..."

"Let's hope not," Jack interjected, smiling. "Then why did you want to go so badly?" he asked.

Daniel frowned, "Most of the time I was working on the project in Antarctica, you were in that little chamber, dead, for lack of a better word. Then, when you came back, you were promoted, which I knew shot our chances to hell." He shrugged, "I felt I needed to get away. Leave you alone for a while." He looked at his feet. "I didn't want to damage your chances."

Jack lifted his chin with his finger, "I'd leave the air force in a second if you asked me to," he stated softly.

Daniel shook his head, leaning against the counter, "I won't let you or ask you to, you know that. Honestly, I was kind of glad that you wouldn't let me leave. Showed me how much you cared."

Jack looked down, "Then I left," he returned.

Daniel stood straight, "That wasn't your fault," he stated, firmly. "You had to go to Washington. I know you didn't want to, believe me."

Jack sighed in relief, "That's good, because I really didn't want to."

* * *

It took a few minutes for John to process Jack's last statement before he remembered that Rodney was in the house, and he really did want to see him.

He walked through the patio door, seeing Rodney, looking just a tad uncomfortable, looking at the things that lined the shelves in the living room. He could hear Jack and Daniel in the kitchen, talking quietly. He smiled at the sight of his best friend and leaned in the doorway. "Hey," he said softly. Rodney's eyes shot up and John could see that, while Daniel had known he was here, Rodney hadn't had a clue.

Rodney heard the voice behind him and jerked around, "John?" he whispered. "How? What?" He was aware of the men in the room next to them and kept his voice low. He walked to John, "Do you have any idea how worried I've been? And, all this time, you've been here?"

John smiled, "Of course not," he returned, "I've got a nice little room with my name on it at the SGC. General O'Neill managed this. I've told you before, you don't have to worry. I will be fine, you know that. I've been worried about you."

"Last I checked, I wasn't the one in the middle of a court-martial," Rodney returned.

John sighed, "I told you, it's not a court-martial. It's a hearing. That's all. They don't have any evidence, Rodney. It won't go to court-martial."

Rodney frowned, "I wish I could believe you." He followed John outside and paced around the deck.

"Are you sure you're okay?" John asked, worry in his voice.

Rodney paused in his pacing and looked at John, "I, um, have something to tell you."

John immediately went on alert, "Okay. What?" He narrowed his eyes, "Did you do something wrong?"

Rodney stopped his pacing, "I was taking...precautions. So I had a conversation with Dr. Jackson today."

John walked into Rodney's personal space, "What did you _do_, Rodney?"

"I asked him about...possibly getting...a job. Here." He avoided John's gaze.

John clenched his hands into fists, "No. Rodney. No. You...You love Atlantis. You would die here. You know that. I distinctly remember you telling me you weren't going to be the cause of getting me in trouble. Do you really think I'm going to be the cause of you giving up your home? I thought we agreed that Atlantis had to come first."

Rodney frowned, "Tell me I didn't wait for almost two years," he said, slowly. John avoided his eyes, turning away. Rodney grabbed his arm, "John," he whispered, his voice low and anxious, "please tell me I didn't wait for two years, for nothing."

John closed his eyes, "Rodney," he said, softly, "what do you want me to say?" Before he could think about it, he slid his hand down and grasped Rodney's. "You know this can't change anything. We haven't done anything. They won't let this go to court-martial. There is no evidence. Nothing will change."

Rodney nodded and turned away from John, pulling his hand from John's grasp. He sat in a chair on the patio and put his head in his hands, "This is just so unfair," he muttered, aware of how childish that sounded.

John hung his head, "I know, Rodney, believe me, I know. We've had this conversation before. You deserve someone who can be with you when _you_ want them to. You _deserve_ that." He knelt in front of the other man, sighing deeply, "And I can't be that man, Rodney. And you're right, that's not fair to you. And I'm sorry. So fucking sorry."

Rodney nodded, "I know you're sorry. And it's not your fault." John was avoiding his eyes, so Rodney lifted his chin with his finger. "Listen to me, and listen good. There is _nothing _better than you, don't you understand that? I knew what I was getting into all those months ago. _If _you don't get to go back to Atlantis, we will discuss my staying then. Just don't expect me to let you go that easily." He gave John an incredulouslook, "Do you really _want_ me to leave while you have to stay here?"

John took Rodney's hand, playing with the other man's fingers, "Of course I don't want to have to watch you get back on that ship knowing I can't go with you, but how long, Rodney?" he asked, running his thumb across Rodney's cheek with his free hand. "How long until you begin to resent me? Us?"

Rodney glared, "Resent? Why would I resent you?"

John smiled softly, "Come on Rodney, I could live without Atlantis. I wouldn't particularly like it, but I could do it. I got lucky. I just sat in a chair and started a grand adventure with you. But you, you've worked for this for years. Years, Rodney, that you've been dreaming of this." He grinned, "Hell, Zelenka told me the first time he saw you smile was the day that Dr. Jackson told you he knew the address to Atlantis. And you actually expect me to ask you to leave that?" He leaned close to Rodney's ear, "I'm rather fond of your smiles. Especially the one that you seem to reserve just for me."

Rodney looked at John, "John," he started, "I like Atlantis, don't get me wrong. I really do. But Atlantis has only become home because you're there, don't you get that? I'm not getting on that ship and leaving you here. I'm not expecting you to ask me to stay, John," he whispered, leaning into the hand that still caressed his cheek. "I'm telling you that I want to. Because I love you." He stood up sharply, knocking John back onto his hands, "Please tell me you haven't changed your mind," he said, frantically as he began to pace. "Oh god, you have, haven't you? You've changed your mind."

John got to his feet and walked to Rodney. He grabbed Rodney's hands forcing the other man to stop in front of him. "Did you not listen to anything I just said?" he asked, just a touch of anger in his voice.

Rodney froze at John's tone, not saying anything, just tightening his grip on the other man's hands.

"I love you," John snarled, "Did you not get that?" He took a deep breath, taking a step forward until he and Rodney were almost touching, "What do I have to do, Rodney," he whispered, his voice anguished. "I'll do anything to prove it to you." His voice was shaking, "Do you want me to leave the Air Force? Do you want me to go into that room in a few days and tell them 'yes, I love him'? Tell me, Rodney, tell me what it will take?"

Jack walked to the doorway, carrying a plate of steaks, "Dinner's starting," he announced cheerfully, "McKay, you want a beer?" He gave no mention of the hand holding or the fact that there was barely a millimeter between the two men.

Rodney automatically backed up a few steps and John let him, dropping his hands, but keeping eye contact with Rodney. He pleaded with Rodney for mere seconds before taking a deep breath and turning to Jack, "Those look great," he exclaimed, his easy smile back.

Rodney nodded, accepting the beer Daniel held out for him, downing half of it in one gulp. How was he supposed to respond to that? What did he want? He wanted John. That was very clear. He also wanted Atlantis, but he also knew he would rather have John without Atlantis than Atlantis without John. But John didn't want him to stay. What was he supposed to think about that?

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\  
They clear up Rodney's confusion...


	4. Clearing Up Confusions

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Summary: Fate brought John Sheppard and Rodney McKay together. Follow their romance as they try to battle USAF rules, their friends, and their enemies.

Pairings: John/Rodney, Jack/Daniel

Author's Note: Total AU. No spoilers. They're still on Earth. John and Rodney have another talk. John accepts Rodney's decision. Jack and Daniel are in this one as well.

Undeniably Fate  
by: JnnLuvsU

Chapter 4: Clearing Up Confusions  
Chapter Summary: John explains. And accpets Rodney's plans.

* * *

"So," Jack announced after dinner, "Movie?"

Daniel groaned, "So you can critique it the entire time?"

Jack smiled, "Hey, I got that from Carter. Not my fault. And I didn't critique that stupid mummy movie you dragged me to." He pretended to look hurt.

Daniel scowled, "Because you fell asleep after the first ten minutes," he exclaimed. "And then, you snored through the entire first half of the movie."

Jack shrugged, "I told you it was stupid." He grinned, "Besides, I still haven't seen Star Wars."

Daniel put his head in his hands as both Rodney and John stared at Jack in shock. "You've _never_ seen Star Wars?" John asked in disbelief. "How could you _not _have seen Star Wars? That's just _wrong_."

"I guess we should watch it then," Jack returned, still grinning. He looked at Daniel, "What do you say Danny?"

Daniel looked up and narrowed his eyes at Jack, "Promise not to speak?"

Jack laughed, "I'll try," he promised, standing. He collected their plates. "Go put the movie in. I'll make the popcorn."

Daniel stood, walking to the living room. Rodney followed and John turned to Jack, "Sir, what time will I go back to the base tomorrow?" he asked, softly.

Jack sighed, "I have to have you back by noon. Don't run off during the night, or you'll find this will be the _last _favor I do for you."

John smiled grimly, "I want to go home, Sir. I'm not going anywhere."

Jack nodded, "Daniel told me what McKay talked to him about today. Has he talked to you about it?"

John sighed, for some reason, he felt compelled to talk to Jack about it. He supposed it was because the other man claimed to be in the same boat, but he was just glad he had someone to confide to other than Rodney. They couldn't risk telling anyone in Atlantis about it. For some reason, John trusted Jack, though he couldn't say why. "He thinks that I regret it. That I don't want him to stay." He ran his hands through his hair, "I'm more worried that he will start to regret me if he stays here."

Jack grimaced, "Talk to him, Sheppard. Stuff like that can cause a serious misunderstanding." He sighed, "In all honesty, I really don't know what to tell you." He could hear Daniel and Rodney arguing about whether or not archeology was a science and knew they had a few minutes. "Did Daniel ever tell you he wanted to go to Atlantis?"

John gave him a small smile, "It was pretty obvious, Sir," he relented.

Jack nodded, "Do you know why he didn't?"

John frowned, "I assumed he'd changed his mind. Decided to stay home. Didn't want to take the risk of not coming back."

Jack shook his head, "I wouldn't let him," he admitted. "At that time, I was leader of the SGC, and I was selfish." He looked down, "Well, I told myself it was because he had the most information about the Goa'uld and the Ancients, but even he knew that was a lie."

John avoided looking at Jack, "That was different. Daniel had never been to Atlantis. In essence, he doesn't know what he's missing. Rodney does."

Jack nodded, conceding John's point. He gazed toward the living room, "I think you'll find they're not all that different." He gave John a quick smile before walking into the living room with two popcorn bowls, "Oh, give it up, both of you," he yelled at the two men in the living room, handing a bowl of popcorn to Rodney before sitting on the floor in front of the chair Daniel was sitting in. "Movie ready to go?"

John smiled at how fast Rodney and Daniel shut up and leaned in the doorway for a moment before moving to sit on the couch next to Rodney. He smiled softly at the other man, stealing popcorn from the bowl in Rodney's lap. The popcorn was gone before the movie had even started good and Rodney sat the bowl on the floor. A quick glance at Jack and Daniel revealed Daniel to be absentmindedly playing with Jack's hair while Jack stared, riveted, at the movie. John smiled softly, shifting on the couch until he had one leg between him and Rodney, half facing the other man.

Rodney could feel John shifting beside him and glanced at him questioningly, his breath catching at the soft smile on the other man's face. John had never looked so relaxed. How could he be so relaxed, when he was facing a court-martial? Rodney frowned.

John could guess why Rodney was frowning and took the other man's hand in his, leaning close to his ear, "Stop worrying so much," he whispered, keeping a firm grip on Rodney's hand. They very seldom got to be affectionate with one another, and he was going to take advantage of this chance.

Rodney tried to pull his hand from John's, but the other man held fast. He frowned, gesturing toward the other two men in the room and froze when he realized Daniel was playing with Jack's hair and Jack was leaning against Daniel's leg. A tug on his hand brought his attention back to John, who was grinning at him.

John played with Rodney's fingers, stroking them, caressing, all the while holding on for dear life. He nodded at Rodney's unspoken question.

Rodney sighed, relaxing for the first time since he'd been in the house. They were going to be okay. John wasn't going to get into trouble for this. He leaned into John, "We need to talk," he whispered, his face close to John's.

John nodded, tracing Rodney's lips with his fingers. He swallowed hard, imagining, not for the first time, how it would feel to kiss those lips. His hand was shaking as he stared into Rodney's eyes. He saw Rodney's eyes dilate with desire, and John felt himself grow hard in response. Calling on all his restraint, he dropped his hand and his gaze, breathing deeply, dropping his forehead to rest on Rodney's shoulder.

Rodney forced himself to calm down. John's grip was like steel and he was sure he'd have bruises tomorrow. He raised his free hand to the back of John's neck, stroking the fine hairs there softly.

"I'm sorry," John breathed into his neck.

Rodney shook his head, his hands tightening, both on John's hand and his neck, but as he didn't have anything to say, he merely allowed himself to relax and enjoy this.

With the movie over, Jack stood, taking in the three other men in the room. Daniel was looking down, knowing that he would have to leave soon. Rodney had a firm grip on John's hand, while John was still resting his head on Rodney's shoulder. Jack sighed, running his hand through his hair, "Okay," he began, "here's the deal." In truth, he and Daniel never did this, because they were afraid that it would draw too much attention to them. And also because they didn't know if they would be able to stop if it became habit. "Sheppard has to be back in the base at noon." He reached out and pulled Daniel to his feet. "Tonight? This? Everything? It stays _here_."

Daniel's eyes shot to Jack's and John's head jerked off of Rodney's shoulder. They were all looking at him in shock. Jack didn't say anything else, merely pulled Daniel from the room.

John and Rodney stared down the hallway in shock for a few minutes before turning back to each other. John reached out and cupped Rodney's cheek, resting his forehead against the other man's. He breathed a sigh of relief, "Thank God," he whispered, "I was _not_ looking forward to telling you goodbye tonight."

Rodney closed his eyes, "I know," he whispered, "I just don't understand why you want me to leave so badly."

John's heart broke at the hurt and vulnerability in his best friend's voice. He blinked back tears. He pulled back and lifted Rodney's chin. "Look at me," he pleaded softly.

Rodney reluctantly opened his eyes, surprised to see tears in John's eyes, "Why?" he repeated, anguished, "Why don't you want me to stay?"

John attempted a smile and took a deep breath, "I want you Rodney," he whispered, twining their fingers, never looking away from Rodney's eyes. "I do _not_ want you to leave. Please don't think that. I just don't want you to regret us, resent me. I don't want to be the reason your eyes stop lighting up."

Rodney huffed, "You don't think I'm capable of making a life here? With you? Are you daft?"

John stared into the other man's eyes, "Everyday on Atlantis, I dread two things," he whispered softly, taking a deep breath, "The first thing I dread is that you will get hurt or..." he trailed off, unable to complete that sentence.

Rodney knew that sentiment well and gave John's hand a squeeze, "I know, John," he whispered, "I dread that too." He frowned, "You mentioned two things."

John nodded, dropping his gaze, playing with the hand that he held, "I have come to _dread_ every time the Daedalus docks. One day, that damn ship is going to bring someone to Atlantis. Someone brilliant, funny, hot, someone who is _not_ in the military," he looked into Rodney's eyes, "and someone who is smart enough to know the wonderful thing in front of him." He paused, realizing his hands were shaking, seeing the shock in the other man's eyes. "I dread that day, Rodney," he stated vehemently, "because I know that I love you enough to let you go, but I don't think I'm strong enough to." He brought one hand to cup Rodney's cheek.

Rodney was speechless, "You really believe that, don't you?" He stood up, pulling John to his feet. He invaded the other man's personal space, his hands ghosting along John's abdomen and up his back, daring to touch in a way he never had before. "Do I have to prove it to you," he leered, hearing John's sharp intake of breath.

"Rodney," John gasped, "You've got to stop." He called on all his self-control to still Rodney's hands, "I remember asking you the same thing," he returned, sliding his arms around Rodney's waist. "There's so much I can't offer you," he whispered, his voice rough. "Why shouldn't you find it elsewhere?"

Rodney's face softened, "Because I want you," he whispered tenderly.

John took a deep breath, "You have to promise me that you will go home if you want to. You are _not_ to stay here just because you think I want you to."

Rodney visibly relaxed, thanking a God he didn't believe in for letting him win this one. He pulled John into his embrace, burying his head in John's neck. "Thank you," he whispered, clutching at the other man.

John hugged Rodney tightly, rubbing the other man's back, "Promise me, Rodney," he repeated.

Rodney pulled away slightly, but didn't let John go. He nodded, exasperated, "Okay, okay, fine. I promise."

John nodded, "You know this is all moot anyway. It won't go to court-martial. I won't be discharged. We're going to go home," he said fiercely, then frowned, "Nothing can change, Rodney."

Rodney looked down, "I understand that." There was a few minutes of silence before Rodney looked back at him, "In that case, I suggest we make the most of tonight. We won't get another one for a while."

John tightened his arms, "As much as I want to, and believe me, I want to, we can't do anything that I'll have to lie about later."

Rodney's face fell, "You're not going to sleep on the couch, are you? Or make me? Cause I really want tonight."

John shook his head, "That's not what I meant. I meant that we can't _do_ anything. I'm not passing up the chance to sleep with you."

Rodney smiled, pulling John down the hallway and into the spare room.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\  
They're back on Atlantis...


	5. No More Regulations

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Summary: Fate brought John Sheppard and Rodney McKay together. Follow their romance as they try to battle USAF rules, their friends, and their enemies.

Pairings: John/Rodney

Author's Note: Total AU. No spoilers. This one takes place on both Atlantis and Earth.

Undeniably Fate  
by: JnnLuvsU

Chapter 5: No More Regulations  
Chapter Summary: DADT is repealed. What will John and Rodney do?

* * *

John mounted the stairs to Elizabeth's office, wondering what could possibly be wrong now. Since he and Rodney had gotten back to Atlantis nearly six months earlier, he'd been more careful than ever, both with Rodney and in his position as ranking military officer. So, he walked into Elizabeth's office in confusion. He'd done nothing wrong. "You wanted to see me, Dr. Weir?" he asked, standing in front of her desk. Their relationship had been strained at best since his return.

Elizabeth sighed, "John, are you going to forgive me any time soon?" She'd missed the easy friendship she'd shared with both John and Rodney as both had been avoiding her since their return.

John shrugged, "Not yet." He fell silent, waiting.

Elizabeth frowned, but nodded, "Okay." She held out an envelope. "This came for you. From General O'Neill. It's marked urgent and confidential."

John frowned, wondering what General O'Neill was sending him now. He took the envelope from Elizabeth, "Thank you." He turned to leave the room.

"Are you leaving again?" Elizabeth asked. She was at a loss as to what General O'Neill would be writing to John about.

John didn't turn around, "Not that I know of." He smiled as he realized what General O'Neill would be writing him about, "This is something else. Something I've been waiting for."

Elizabeth nodded, "Very well. Briefing tomorrow at 9:00."

John nodded, "Gotcha." He left the room, tearing the envelope open as he walked. This letter had the potential to make him very happy, or very mad. His hands shook as he opened it. Three sheets of paper fell into his hands. A hastily handwritten letter and two official looking documents. John read as he walked, nearly bumping into three different people.

_Sheppard,_

_Never was too good at the whole writing letter thing, but Daniel convinced me that this was something that I needed to do myself rather than let you hear it from anyone else. Never was too good at drawing out suspense either. Always was kind of blunt. So, here goes._

_As of today, DADT no longer exists. This includes _all _military personnel. Fraternization between officers of the same command in the Stargate Program is no longer against regulations. Atlantis will hear of this officially in the next Deadelus run. No one is supposed to know. That means don't tell anyone. Well, anyone except McKay. And make sure he doesn't tell anyone for Pete's sake. I'm trying to do you a favor. If I get in trouble for this, Antarctica will seem like a cakewalk compared to where I will send you. Alone._

_There are two letters attached to this note. The first is the official notice of the changes to regulation that I just told you. If McKay is anything like Daniel, he'll demand to see it. No one else sees it, understood? The second piece of paper is orders you are_ _to give to Elizabeth. You and McKay are to leave on the Deadelus when it leaves. You will remain on Earth for two weeks. Officially, you will be on loan to the Pentagon in briefings. Unofficially, you will be on vacation. Signed and approved by the President. There will be a few briefings, but mainly two weeks of fun and sun. We've waited long enough._

_Daniel says I don't need to assume too much, so here's the part where I tell you none of these are _official _orders. If things have not gone the way I foresee, then you can ignore everything in this letter and burn it. In that case, I will see you in a couple of months when Daniel and I make a trip to Atlantis with SG1. Hell, who am I kidding? See you in a few weeks._

_O'Neill_

John stopped in his tracks, shock on his features. He paused for merely a minute before pulling the two other documents to the front. One was an official notification of new orders for him and Rodney to report to Earth with the Daedalus when it left. The other was official documentation of new regulations in respect to DADT. He grinned, running back to Elizabeth's office, schooling his face into a mask. He needed to look upset about this. It was a good thing he'd spent the better part of the last twenty years of his life masking his emotions. "Here," he scowled, giving her the letter. "I have orders to go to briefings in Washington."

Elizabeth could see the anger on John's features, and read the letter, frowning, "They want you and Rodney to go to Earth with the Daedulus?"

John sighed, "Apparently."

Elizabeth activated her radio, "Rodney, I need you to come to my office."

John kept his mask firmly in place, but grinned inwardly; Rodney wouldn't even have to act surprised. He would truly be pissed.

Rodney appeared a few minutes later, carrying a bunch of papers. He froze at seeing John in the room, before quickly recovering, "You wanted to see me Dr. Weir," he stated.

Elizabeth sighed, "You are John are to leave with the Daedalus." She handed him the paper. Apparently, he wasn't ready to forgive her yet, either.

John expected indignation, anger, or even joy or curiosity to show on Rodney's face, and was surprised to see fear as the most dominant emotion on the other man's face. He frowned, taking a step towards Rodney.

Rodney froze, the color draining from his face, fear running through him, though he tried to hide it. He stole a glance at John before turning to Elizabeth, "Why?" he asked, tentatively, barely masking the dread in his voice. This was it. He'd always thought that John's hearing had gone too smoothly, and now that was coming back to bite them in the ass.

Elizabeth was confused, "For briefings," she explained. She leaned forward, "Rodney, are you okay?"

Rodney read the paper in his hands, "If I say no?" Rodney ventured, his voice low.

Elizabeth frowned, "Not really something you say no to, Rodney," she informed him.

Rodney looked affronted, "We could come up with a good excuse as to why we can't go." He was practically pleading.

John stared at Rodney, wondering what the other man was afraid of. He caught Rodney's eyes and read the fear in them. Rodney saw this as the other shoe dropping. He walked to Rodney, smiling at Elizabeth. "We'll be ready to go, Dr. Weir," he assured her, discreetly dropping the letter from Jack on the top of the papers Rodney carried. He pushed the still sputtering astrophysicist out of her office.

Elizabeth stared after them, confused, "Okay, John," she muttered.

Elizabeth may not have noticed the paper John handed Rodney, but Rodney sure did and began reading it as John pushed him out of Elizabeth's office.

John heard Rodney's gasp of surprise that told him the man understood the letter. He pulled Rodney into a transporter, jamming the place near his quarters.

Rodney allowed John to lead him to his quarters, staring open-mouthed at the man. "Is this real?" he asked, staring at the papers in his hand in disbelief.

John nodded, grinning, "Here." He handed Rodney the official papers from Jack.

Rodney quickly read the letter, the awe and disbelief apparent on his face. He looked at John, "Does this mean..." he trailed off, unable to complete his thoughts. As much as he'd wished and hoped for this day over the last two and a half years, he'd never really believed it would come. Part of him was terrified.

John mistook Rodney's fear and frowned, "It can mean whatever you want it to mean, Rodney," he said softly. "If you want, I can give you an easy out."

Rodney visibly blanched, "Why would I want that?" he asked, glaring at John.

John shrugged, "You look like you're being led to the slaughter," John replied, moving slowly into Rodney's personal space, "I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

Rodney sighed, "I'm sorry." He smiled, "I just never actually expected this to happen." He clutched the papers in one hand, not willing to let them go, and cupped John's cheek with the other. He could see the desire in the other man's eyes and shook his head. "I love you John," he informed the other man, "I'm not going anywhere. It's just a shock."

John breathed a sigh of relief, "Don't do that to me," he choked out, pulling Rodney into a fierce hug.

* * *

John knelt in front of Rodney, "I want to go to Canada," he whispered, hoping Rodney would understand his meaning.

Rodney looked at him, "You're right. Jeannie would kill us if we didn't come see her while we're on Earth." He saw John's look of disappointment, "What?"

John put on a smile. Rodney was going to make him ask. He reached out, cupping Rodney's face in his hands, "Rodney," he returned seriously, "I'm asking you to marry me."

Rodney's eyebrows traveled towards his hairline, "Really," he squeaked.

John smiled, "Rodney, I love you. I want to marry you." He leaned close to the other man's face, "And now I can." He captured Rodney's lips with his.

Rodney pulled back after a few minutes, breathing heavily. "But, what about the men under your command? They might not like the idea of us being married. Besides, they don't even know about us, and you want to spring marriage on them?"

John's face fell, his hands falling to rest on Rodney's thighs. "So, that a no," he commented softly, using his leverage on Rodney to push himself up.

Rodney pulled him back down. "John, I want to. Really, _really_ want to. But I do _not_ want to cause problems for you on Atlantis."

John sighed, "We're here. Let's do it now. I'll make you a deal. We can keep it a secret if you want. For a little while. Until you're ready to tell."

Rodney gave him a long look, "You'd be willing to do that? Do you really think it would work?"

John grinned, Rodney was wearing down. He shrugged, "Will it work? I don't know. Not forever, but until you get comfortable, sure." He leered at Rodney, "Am I willing? Definitely. I can't be court-martialed for this anymore, and who knows when we'll have this opportunity again." He took a deep breath, "But only if you want to. I'm not trying to pressure you."

Rodney looked at him, his thoughts running a mile a minute. He knew what his heart wanted, his brain was unsure. He kind of liked the idea of being secretly married to John, king of like their own private joke. And could he really ignore that hopeful look in John's eyes? He grinned, pulling John to him, "Yes," he whispered into John's neck, hugging the other man tightly.

John clutched at Rodney, rejoicing at the other man's answer. He gave Rodney a long, deep kiss, taking his time. He pulled back after a few minutes, hearing Rodney's whimper of protest, leaning his forehead against Rodney's. "Really?" he asked, sure he'd never be able to wipe the grin off his face.

Rodney nodded, "Yes. Really. Tomorrow?" He smiled sinfully at John, "After we get naked." He reached for the buttons on John's shirt, deftly undoing them one by one.

John groaned, his own fingers making quick work of the buttons on Rodney's shirt before pushing the other man back on the bed.

Rodney went willingly, pulling John on top of him. "I still can't believe this is real," he gasped as John bent his head to nip at Rodney's neck before working his way to one of Rodney's nipples, taking the tight bud into his mouth.

John looked up briefly, "It's real. And it'll be even more real when I put a ring on your finger." He dipped down to return to his ministrations. After teasing both nipples, he worked his way down Rodney's stomach, pausing when he hit Rodney's pants. He looked up into Rodney's desire filled eyes, "It's time to take these off," He whispered, making quick work of Rodney's pants and boxers before standing to do his own. He gazed at the sight on the bed, crawling up Rodney, "You are so beautiful," he whispered, giving the other man a searing kiss.

Rodney shook his head, pulling back. "Trust me, that's all you."

John frowned, "Don't argue with me." He settled himself on top of Rodney, lining up their erections, creating just enough friction to make them both moan with pleasure.

Rodney's eyes glazed over, "Wouldn't dream of it," he whispered, becoming lost in the pleasure of John.

* * *

"By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and husband," the justice of the peace announced. "You may kiss."

John crushed Rodney's left hand with his right, lightly caressing the silver band he'd put there minutes before, kissing the other man lazily, like they had all day. He smiled as he felt Rodney doing the same to the band on his left hand.

Rodney pulled back, still clutching John's hands, "Husband," he whispered huskily into John's ear.

John pulled Rodney into a tight hug, "Let's get you out of here," he whispered.

A few signed papers later and they were on the road back to their hotel.

* * *

Rodney reached out blindly, frowning when he realized John wasn't there. He sat up, "John?" he called to the room. They were in yet another hotel room, preparing for their departure back to Atlantis later that day.

John walked into the bedroom of their suite, carrying a cup of coffee. He leaned in the doorway for a moment, "Hey, sleeping beauty," he whispered affectionately, moving to sit on the bed. He merely grinned when Rodney confiscated his coffee. "I got you something," he whispered, placing the cup of coffee on the table.

Rodney frowned, curious, "What?" he asked. "And when? You haven't left my side."

John smiled, taking Rodney's left hand in his, "Well, I know you're not ready to tell anyone about us," he said, gradually working Rodney's wedding band off. "I agree with you. Which means we can't very well wear these," he said, holing up his own left hand.

Rodney's frown deepened. He wasn't ready to tell, but he hadn't thought about not being able to wear his wedding band. He sighed, "I hadn't thought of that," he admitted, "but I don't want to take it off."

John nodded, "I don't either," he whispered, "I like seeing proof on your hand that you're mine and I like having proof on my hand that I'm yours. So, I got you this." He held out a sturdy silver chain. He slipped Rodney's band off his finger and put it on the chain, "If we're careful, we should be able to keep it a secret for at least a little while." He slipped the chain over Rodney's neck, clasping it.

Rodney grasped the chain in his fingers, fingering the ring. Who would have though John had such a romantic streak? He took John's left hand in his, "Where's yours?"

John grinned, holding out another chain, "I thought about merely putting it on my tags, but this is more practical. People do see my tags every own and then."

Rodney nodded, taking John's ring from his finger and placing it on the chain. He clasped the chain around John's neck, "I love you," he whispered.

John smiled, "I love you, too." He looked at his watch, "Better get a move on. We have to be at the base in twenty minutes."

Rodney shot up, "Why didn't you wake me?"

John gave him a small smile, "You need all the sleep you can get. You don't get that much at home. Besides, you looked so cute."

Rodney glared, "You should've woke me," he pouted.

John gave him a quick kiss, "Don't worry. Secret or no, I'm sleeping with you tonight."

Rodney nodded, "Good. We'll think of something."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\  
People find out...


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